Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Coffee Shop Brawl

A tall husky police officer was standing in the coffee shop line-up just ahead of me. Sure makes one feel safe having an officer of the law nearby. But then again how many coffee shops have had problems – none that I know. But, what if…my imagination went into gear. Here’s the scene;

A rough and tough looking fellow walks up to the counter and says in a gruff voice, “Put all the donuts into the bag and no one will get hurt.”

The young clerk remains calm. Her hand slips unseen under the counter and she pushes the silent alarm button. Within seconds two police officers race into the shop, guns pointed. They quickly apprehend the culprit, snatch the bag of donuts from his hand, slap on the cuffs and secure him to a chair. Then they sit down at a table and sort through the donuts. When they discover there is only one triple chocolate donut, they wrestle for it. The older one is quickly knocked down. They kick and grapple on the floor. Customers jump aside. Elderly ladies scream, throwing their arms around their feeble old husbands.

Suddenly the struggle ends – the donut is crushed beyond recognition. Crumbs are strewn about on the floor and the paper muffin cup is torn in half. The two officers rise wearily from the floor, brush off their trousers and slump into chairs panting. The young clerk walks out from behind the counter with a broom and dust pan. She sweeps up the crumbs, broken napkin holder and the shattered cups that have fallen on the ceramic floor.

Soon everything is back to normal – business as usual.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Funny Signs

Some signs set my imagination into motion. For example;

“Swim Wear For The Whole Family”:

Just picture that! Swim wear that fits everyone in the family!

“Oh, honey!” calls the loving wife from the beach. “You finished with the swimsuit?”

“Yes!” Husband answers. He strips off the suit as he wades out of the water and tosses it to his wife. “Here, dear!” he says. “But make it quick. The kids want to go for a swim, too.”

That’s one amazing suit! I gotta get me one of those!

“Bug Hats For Sale”:

Imagine trying to get a little hat on a bug. I wonder if a magnifying glass comes with each hat or perhaps it is an option at an extra cost. I hope a chin strap is on the hats for flying bugs. Otherwise the poor little bugs will loose their hats.

“Welcome Vacancy”

This sign hangs by a motel. I wonder who vacancy is: Miss Vacancy, Mr. Vacancy, Mrs. Vacancy, or Master Vacancy. Whoever vacancy is, they must be important to have their name on a sign. Or perhaps the motel is simply welcoming vacancy – emptiness – quietness – peace at last after a noisy bunch.